All of this work was made while I was being called a living failure, selfish, lazy, bitch, psycho, stupid, and more. I also am a mom of three, one of whom was born just a few months ago. The worst part was during install, the less attention I gave him the more of a narcissist fit he would throw. He would call me the abuser, he would purposely try to provoke me, he would harass my phone while I was up on ladders trying to create this environment for you all to enjoy. He used breastfeeding as a way to control me. I shouldn’t speak in the past tense. This is my 2024. This is happening to me right now. He is trying to have my children taken away. DCFS harassing us almost daily. He calls the cops because I won’t let him in my house. He won’t get a car, he won’t fix himself, he won’t go home. I want to fight and I want to die all at the same time. I am desperate for someone just to hold me, calm me, be present. Hold me, calm me, be present… Hold me…