I’m sleeping and he’s trying to come to bed in the middle of the night, wakes me up telling me to shift over. My body is in one of those paralysis states from exhaustion and still in a twilight level of consciousness. I can hear him like from far away, or like through water and he is getting angrier, angrier, angrier by the second. He rips the blanket off of me and says if he can’t sleep then I can’t sleep either. I’m trying to hang onto the blanket it is wrapped around my arm and he is pulling it so hard I’m getting pulled off the bed and I cannot believe what’s going on but I am also still half asleep. Eventually I just let go of the blanket and stay curled up in the middle of the bed. His voice feels closer now and I’m more awake. He’s calling me an abuser, he’s calling me a bitch. I could discover The Holy Grail or Atlantis and he would still only notice my perceived shortcomings. I would still be too much and yet never enough.